Grown up? I’m only pretending

Where is the lie meme

I know for a fact that I am not alone in feeling like someone, at some point is going to tap me on the shoulder and ask what the heck I think I’m doing be a grown up.

“Excuse me, lady – Why are you paying bills/renting a home/buying groceries/attempting to write invoices and work like some sort of actual adult? Get out of here, you hooligan!”

I’ve always felt like I was just pretending, just making it up as I go along, waiting to be caught out. Work? You may think I’m good at what I do but I have no idea how I got here! Life? Just trying not to be a complete failure really. Parenting? I haven’t even gotten there yet!

Growing up, ticking off each year as my birthday rolls around, makes me think that I should have achieved something different by now. I turned 26 in April and I was certain I’d be a mom by now. But life hasn’t worked out that way, so I’ve put it off for another time. 

Or sometimes it’s something else. I’m sure we would be in a different home by now. I’m sure I’d be doing something else with  my life by now. Shouldn’t I be working with charities and writing books in my free time while sipping tea on a terrace overlooking the sea by now?

Ha! What a laugh our silly little plans can be.

All of that being said, I’m happy. I’m happy with where I am in life at this moment. Happier than I ever been in my relationship with Daniel, because as I’ve told a few people, being married (for me) is so much better than not being married. I’m growing and learning some new things about myself in my relationship with God too (which He doesn’t mind by the way, He really isn’t offended by a little questioning and reshuffling).

Life is good, friends. And if things are scary or confusing or frustrating right now, always quote my good friend Dumbledore:

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.


3 thoughts on “Grown up? I’m only pretending

  1. This week I am over being grown up! I would much rather be in the sand pit, throwing sand at the kids I don’t like and building sand castles!

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