As Daniel and I near our first year of marriage I’ve been thinking a lot about what it really means to be an adult.
I’ve never really felt my age, being the baby of 3 kids will do that to you, and even now at 25 they still make me feel like a little girl. My siblings are 13 and 10 years older than me so they’ll always have that one up. I’m okay with that.
At 16, I was sure I’d feel like an adult at 18. At 18, I thought that moment would come at 21. Rinse and repeat. Now at 25, as a married woman, I’m starting to feel a little like an adult. Not every day though. That would be silly.
When Daniel and I were planning our wedding, I still felt like a teen planning their first big date or matric farewell. There are just certain things that no one tells you. These are the big adult decisions I’m talking about.
Picking a place to stay initially was strange for me as I had always lived with my parents. Getting to live in our own home made me feel like Daniel and I were just playing “house”. It wasn’t scary, it was fun. Even paying rent and electricity and shopping for groceries felt fairly natural as it’s something I’ve always helped my mother do and it made sense to me.
But recently other decisions have had to be made.
Firstly, our landlord contacted us about renewing our lease with her. That was the first “adult decision” that had me stepping back and realising that this is a big deal. Daniel and I had to sit down and talk about whether or not we would be staying. Was the rent increasing manageable? Would we like to find a bigger place? Should we make the move after only 1 year? It was a strange and rather wonderful shock to the system.
WHAT ABOUT KIDS?
The next rather large adult decision was about kids.
Daniel and I have always been in two minds about children. Do we want kids at all? Do we want to have them sooner rather than later? That changed for me once we got married and suddenly Daniel became more than just this man whom I loved very much and had been in my life for so many years, he was my husband, someone I’d grow old with. Someone I know would be the most amazing and gentle dad, just like my own.
Call it post-marriage broodiness but suddenly babies were on my radar BIG TIME. We both agreed that at this very moment, it wouldn’t be wise (financially and space wise) to have a little one but we did agree that being parents was definitely in our future.
So, for now, (and much to my sister’s delight), we’ve decided that in a couple of years, we’ll start trying for our first child. God willing, touch wood, etc.
BIG BABY STEPS
As much as I want a baby NOW and I love children, the thought of having my very own tiny human that will rely on Daniel and I for absolutely everything is terrifying. I’m definitely going to need an entire standalone post to talk about it. But for now, I can revel in the rather adult steps we’ve taken.
Does this mean I suddenly hate sleeping late, gaming and being the baby? No way. I’ve just realised that being an adult means I get to decide what to do with my time, how long I’d like to game before getting an early night and even if I’m a big girl now, I’ll always be the baby. And I’m okay with that.