That time I swore at a stranger

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If you know me, you’ll know that I generally keep things clean when it comes to the language department. I don’t usually swear and I really don’t like swearing AT people.

But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s necessary.

Today was one of those times.

Here’s the story: I was sitting on a bench at Cape Town station waiting for a train, minding my own business when I’m suddenly approached by a guy selling flash drives. This is not unusual.

He starts badgering me about buying a flash drive and that he’ll give me “a good price”. I don’t make eye contact and politely decline each time.

Suddenly this guy is in my face and he says, “How about I give you a kiss for free?” I panicked, I got angry, seeing-red angry and I reacted. I pushed him and shouted: “How about you f**k off!?” He gave me a dirty look and walked away – thankfully.

Now I realise this isn’t a huge situation. I wasn’t raped or drugged or physically harmed in any way. For that I’m grateful. But I did feel violated. This guy came into my space and threatened me.

It was more than just this one incident that bothered me. For weeks lately I’ve heard stories of friends being in similar uncomfortable situations and when it happened to me, I wanted to cry. And I did a little when Daniel fetched me.

Standing up for myself

My parents and older siblings have always taught me to stand up for myself. In every situation –  physically or emotionally. Where some women may keep quiet, I react and that’s not always the wise decision. It could mean being attacked or forced to keep quiet. But nope, I’ll push, shout and fight my way out of an uncomfortable/dangerous situation. It’s who I am. And I’m not going to stop.

To all the ladies out there, no matter where you find yourself or no matter how ‘small’ the harassment may seem, stand up for yourself. Shout, let yourself be heard. Because only then will men (such as the one who got into my space today) realise that we’re not helpless or meek – We are female. We are strong. We will say #NO.

7 thoughts on “That time I swore at a stranger

  1. I’m so sorry you had to deal with this but good for you for standing up for yourself. I tend to freeze in moments like these and say nothing and try to walk away. You’re right though. We should stand up for ourselves.

    1. I totally get the freezing up bit, honey. I think I just have a really short temper and being forced into a situation like this makes my temper flare before the scared side of me (which is definitely there) has a chance to catch up. x

  2. Hi Rob. First of all I would like to thank you. This article really opened my eyes to a similar yet different situation I have been enduring the past year or so.
    I’m small compared to my fellow female friends, standing tall at 1,55 and only weighing about 44 kg( yes I am healthy little bugger , just petit) and because of that I always have to act a bit tougher so that people dont step on me.
    But I found myself in a situation where my boyfriend best friend would either flirt or be mean with me. I didn’t think much of it as he usually drunk when it happens, and I taught myself not to be bothered by a drunk that has always been jealous of his best friend.
    But this past weekend stuff really escalated. He actually “play slapped” me when my boyfriend didnt look. Yes I told my boyfriend and he got extremely upset and wanted to sort his friend out. Which I knew wouldn’t help as his friend is wasted. So the next morning he called to apologise for his actions, but he made it out to be less serious than what it actually is. And that truly bothered me.
    I honestly feel something to that extend is no laughing matter, and I decided to let him know I wont accept that behaviour and never ever will I allow him to do that to me again.
    Well what im trying to say is that you’re article really gave me confirmation that its okay to stand my ground and not accept any tipe of abuse from any person.
    Ps. Im sorry that happened to you.

    1. I’m so sorry you had to deal with a jerk like that and an awful situation. Your comment made my day though. I’m so glad you stood up for yourself and that my blog was able to help is some time way. x

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